Man aims to drill into bank vault, ends up in toilet

Not a bank vault.

A 21 year old Belgian man was apprehended by French police after attempting to drill into the room housing safety deposit boxes in the Marseilles branch of Banque Populaire, before missing his target and emerging in the bank's lavatory.

The man who has not been named broke into an adjacent building in the early hours of the morning, before tripping alarm systems which alerted the authorities as he attempted to drill through the wall directly into the safe.

After presumably making some rather large miscalculations in the planning stage, it could be said that the man's robbery skills are a bit crap.

Shoes are now the ultimate tool of political rebellion, apparently

Not the actual shoe.

As Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao gave a speech on the global economy at Cambridge University this past Monday, he was most likely slightly perturbed when a protestor launched a shoe in his general direction. The shoe missed its target, landing roughly a meter away from Mr Jiabao as he gave the speech on his last scheduled day in Britain.

The protestor was then swiftly apprehended by University security, whilst blowing a whistle and yelling "How can the university prostitute itself with this dictator? How can you listen to the lies he is telling? Stand up and protest", before being ushered out of the building.

This act of footwear-based rebellion follows a similar incident in December, when an Iraqi journalist launched shoes at former US President George Bush, as the president made his farewell tour of the country.

The style and make of shoe involved is not yet known.

Pole dancing in front of teenage students SOMEHOW creates controversy

This isn't a real pole dancer. It's a dog.

South Devon College in Paignton recently invited pole dancing company The Art of Dance to put on two lunch time demonstrations for students, as part of their Be Healthy Week.

The first demonstration, performed by company boss Sam Remmer, 32, in the main area of the college, attracted a crowd of around a thousand 14 to 19 year olds, many of whom recorded the performance on their mobile phones. However, returning for the second show, she was ushered into the college's sports hall after there had been 'a number of complaints'.

Speaking to the Daily Telegraph, Mrs Remmer said: "On querying the nature of the complaints I was told that most of them had come from members of staff who had not actually seen our displays but had just assumed they were inappropriate for their students."

She then went on to say: "I am really angry that bad pole dancing stereotypes are being thrown in my face, I am annoyed to think that many mainstream pop groups seem to promote inappropriate behaviour far more than my pole dancing classes."

All I'll say is this - All we ever got in our school was educational theatre groups, teaching us about sex with sock puppets.

Road sign alerts motorists of the oncoming zombie apocalypse

A digital road sign in Austin, Texas, that is normally used to warn of congestion, weather conditions and the like, had its purpose briefly elevated to the B-movie equivalent of a Defcon 1 - Zombie invasion.

The road sign is thought to have been hacked by, well, hackers and had its informative flashing message altered to 'CAUTION! ZOMBIES! AHEAD!!', as well as "RUN FOR COLD CLIMATES" and "THE END IS NEAR!!!!!!". A similar sign also displayed the warning "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!"

Comforting to think that if the undead hordes do rise, at least the traffic watch folks will be right there to keep us in the loop.

And it's better than "Delays for 3 miles", anyway.

The dawning of a new era in timewasting crap

Welcome to Planet Zayne.

Within this hallowed blog, you shall (hopefully) find news stories from the weird and obscure side of life, which aren't normally reported due to wars and death and the economy and such. I figured too many people are already covering all that stuff, so I'd take a step out to the fringes of the news to bring you the most bizarre, entertaining and downright stupid stories I could possibly find, all for you to waste the day away as you read through them.

Got a strange, funny, stupid, entertaining or otherwise interesting news story you'd like to report? Send it in. You might win a prize (You won't). The address is fluffykittendeath [removethisbitbecauseidontwantlotsofadsforviagrainmyinbox] @gmail.com, preferably with a source for your story.

Right. The introductions are out of the way... Bring on the trumpets.